


what if moxiety talked about their issues and also deceit is there

by weegee1204



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Missing Scene, Slightly Unsympathetic Deceit, Spoilers for Are There Healthy Distractions?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21561160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weegee1204/pseuds/weegee1204
Summary: Spoilers for "Are There Heathy Distractions?"this is a weird concept that got out of hand but hear me out. i wrote a scene that could have taken place in ATHD, picking up around 6:28 and replacing the scene up until 7:17. i’ve seen people worried that a) Patton and Virgil were somewhat tense with each other in this video, and b) Deceit wasn’t at movie night. ironically, i don’t think either of these things necessarily imply angst in canon, BUT i still came up with an idea of how to address both of these in one lil fic!straight up tho, I genuinely think that, between the writing, acting, and editing combined, ATHD is one of the most impressive videos in the entire sanders sides canon (second only to Learning New Things About Ourselves). i’m beyond thrilled that the team is experimenting with new concepts and ideas!! it rocks man!!
Comments: 15
Kudos: 65





	what if moxiety talked about their issues and also deceit is there

**Author's Note:**

> repost from my tumblr: https://olliedollie1204.tumblr.com/post/189285050722/what-if-moxiety-talked-about-their-issues-and-also

“No, should Thomas be staying home right now?”

“Well, Virgil, Thomas made his decision, and I think we should all just try to settle into it.”

Virgil looked at Patton for a beat longer before bringing his gaze back to the screen. “Hm.”

The silence thickened in the room, with the musical number happening on screen somehow not seeming loud enough.

Patton broke it first. “I hope you’re not... blaming yourself?”

“I-” Virgil’s eyes widened slightly, but he quickly pulled back into his normal expression. “I don’t know. I mean, I am the one who pulled the plug on our party plans.”

“Nice alliteration,” Logan mumbled, eyes glued to the screen.

Virgil darted his eyes to Logan, lips quirking briefly. “Thanks. But, uh,” he continued, looking down at his clasped hands, “I mean, I could maybe understand if you think that, uh, someone else should... you know.” He shrugged lightly, meeting Patton’s eyes. “Shoulder the blame?”

“Nope!” Patton answered far too quickly. He tried to cover up his mistake with a light laugh. “I-I mean, I just wanted to check how you’re feeling.”

Virgil looked disappointed. “Oh.”

“Uh, Pat, I’m confused.” Roman leaned forward to look at Patton quizzically. “Do you want Virgil to blame himself, or not?”

Patton’s expression turned slightly panicked. “Of course I don’t want him to blame himself!”

“Of  _ course _ Patton doesn’t want Virgil to blame himself.” Deceit’s voice rang out from his position against the wall, near where Patton stood for videos. He had a sleeping bag pulled against his chest as he reclined, able to see both the TV and the sides on the couch simultaneously.

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. Patton blinked in confusion.

“I don’t,” he said uneasily.

Deceit smirked. “And why would you? It’s not like he’s the one controlling our dear Thomas’ emotional state or anything.”

“Actually, although Patton is technically the figurehead of Thomas’ emotions, Virgil’s presence has a significant enough impact to influence his emotional state at any given time,” Logan stated plainly, too distracted by the surprisingly enthralling movie to detect the tension in the current conversation.

“Especially in this instance,” he continued, unaware of Roman making a horribly unsubtle throat-slashing gesture from the other side of the couch, “when the inciting incident of Thomas’ current anxiety was actually  _ caused _ by his moral outrage, which is ironic, given the proximity of Virgil and Patton’s friendship-”

“Oh-kay, hey!” Roman interjected with faux cheer,  _ finally _ catching Logan’s eye, causing him to falter. “I think we should all just... watch the movie! All of us!”

He jerked his head in Deceit’s direction, hoping beyond hope that Logan would understand the universal signal for “ _ stop giving this guy ammunition to work against us, Logan, please stop talking, for once! _ ”

Logan’s eyes widened slightly. Message received. “Ah. Apologies for interrupting, Roman. I would hate to miss a moment of this... fantastical, frivolous film.”

“Well, isn’t this interesting?” Deceit asked, ignoring Roman and Logan’s attempt at changing the subject. “I guess, in this case, the side to be blamed for causing poor Thomas all this trouble is... both of you.” He grinned, eyeing the two sides in question. “Funny how that happens.”

“Lay off, Deceit,” Virgil muttered, crossing his arms as he tried to watch the screen. “Don’t bring him into this.”

“Virgil...” Patton started, but couldn’t finish. He didn’t know what he wanted to say. He just didn’t like the way Virgil was curled in on himself. An uncomfortable, unidentifiable feeling wormed into Patton’s stomach.

“Go on, Patton. Do finish your thought,” Deceit pushed. “How do you  _ feel _ about Virgil blaming himself for all this trouble?”

Virgil tightened his grip on his arms.

“I don’t think Virgil should blame himself,” Patton mumbled, feeling the pain in his stomach worsen. He wished Deceit would just drop it.

“So, he should blame you then?”

Virgil glared at Deceit. “Don’t.”

“I mean, look at him, Patton. Our dear friend Virgil isn’t handling this well at all.”

“I’m  _ handling _ it just fine,” Virgil snapped.

“Oh, truly, of course you are. Because ‘handling’ a difficult social interaction by becoming a hermit is the image of stability.”

Roman scoffed. “One impromptu movie night does not make Thomas a hermit!”

“Indeed,” Logan added. “A hermit is one who lives in solitude as a practice of religious discipline. Unless Thomas has decided to become a devout follower of Idina Menzel, he does not fit the criterion.”

Roman looked pensive. “Well-”

“That was not a suggestion, Roman.”

“Can we all just stop talking about it?” Virgil said in a raised tone. “I  _ know _ I’m the fuck up here, I’m  _ sorry _ I ruined our plans, and I blame myself.” He turned to Deceit, eyes narrowed. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Deceit smiled and opened his mouth to speak again. Patton looked at the pain on Virgil’s face, and made his decision.

“Virgil should be blaming me,” he announced, setting his mug down harder than necessary. “I caused all of this. It’s all my fault.”

All of the sides’ attention went to Patton. The pain in his stomach intensified greatly.

Virgil was stunned into silence.

Finally, Deceit smirked. “Well, Patton, I’m thrilled at your confession,” he said, breaking the silence. “Although frankly, it took much longer than it should have. I think I can speak for Virgil when I say-”

“You do not  _ ever _ speak for me,” Virgil said forcefully, whipping around to face him.

“Oh, really?” Decit replied, folding his arms and peering at Virgil. “So you  _ don’t _ blame Patton for what you’re feeling right now?”

Patton inhaled sharply, and waited for Virgil’s response. There was an uncomfortable pause before Virgil huffed, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not explaining myself to you.”

Deceit gasped. “Ooh, a non-answer to my rhetorical question! Bold new strategy.”

“Deceit, if I may. What do you stand to gain from this confrontation?”

“Me? Why, I’m not looking to gain anything! Really, I’m just looking out for Thomas.”

“Yeah, if ‘looking out for Thomas’ means ‘being a dick until everyone feels bad and movie night is ruined’.”

“I don’t believe I should have to explain that that is not what ‘looking out for Thomas’ means, Roman.”

Belatedly, Patton realized what the unfamiliar feeling in his stomach was. It wasn’t guilt from hurting Virgil. It wasn’t regret from hurting Thomas. It was a deeper, more personal shame.

“But I’m  _ sure _ Thomas is just so  _ glad _ to finally know that he can’t trust his own heart to not let him down,” Deceit continued, unfettered. “Truthfully, it’s about time.”

Virgil slammed his fists down onto his thighs. “Can you stop lying?”

Deceit chuckled maliciously. “No. Now, Patton-”

“Wait,” Logan interjected, hand raised. “Do you mean- was that a ‘ _ no _ ’, as in, ‘ _ no, I can’t stop lying _ ’, in which case your truthful answer of ‘ _ no _ ’ was a lie- but if that was a lie, then the truthful answer is ‘ _ yes _ ’, as in, ‘ _ yes, I can stop lying _ ’, which, your answer of ‘ _ no _ ’ then would contradict that fact-”

The deceptive side blinked. “I- what? Shut up... what?”

“Yeah, that one made my head hurt,” Roman added.

“I lied! I’m sorry!” Patton’s outburst stopped the other sides in their tracks. Again, everyone turned to look at the moral side- Logan and Roman with trepidation, Virgil with disbelief, and Deceit with a smug satisfaction.

“You lied?” Virgil replied dully.

“Not about the ‘I-don’t-want-you-to-blame-yourself’ part,” Patton added hastily. “But...”

He bit his lip slightly, eyes furtively darting around, before taking a deep breath and meeting Virgil’s gaze again.

“But I don’t want to be blamed either,” he said with uncharacteristic somberness.

Roman and Logan exchanged glances. Virgil kept his eyes locked on Patton.

Patton fiddled with his mug before continuing. “I- I know it’s irrational,” he continued. “It’s... illogical and unfair to try to absolve myself of any blame. But I just feel like... you guys don’t get how much this hurt me-  _ me _ , specifically,” he emphasized. “I mean, obviously it hurt us all. But it’s not just the fact that Rico used to hold different beliefs. It’s- it’s knowing that he used to condemn both Thomas’ most personal moral beliefs, and his core emotions. I mean, his  _ morals _ and  _ emotions _ ? That’s literally my entire thing!”

Patton felt himself getting worked up again. He tightened his grip on his mug, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I shouldn’t have taken over like I did.”

The other sides stayed silent. They all remembered the conversation with Rico, the sick moment of realization at what he was admitting to, how Logan had attempted to rationalize Thomas’ response but was almost physically pushed aside as Patton rose to the forefront of his mind. Patton’s anger, sharp and cold, and the way he couldn’t stop, even as Logan and Virgil and even Roman tried to calm him.

The way Virgil begged Patton to stop,  _ stop _ , before he’d do something he’d regret. The way Patton, for the first time in a long time, refused to hold back out of fear of the consequences of speaking from the (figurative) heart.

And now, this evening. How Patton couldn’t take it back. How Virgil couldn’t let it go.

Patton forced himself to meet Virgil’s eyes. The anxious side stared back, unblinking.

“I hate that this is hurting you so badly. I really, really hate it, and I’m sorry. But I can’t  _ lie _ and say that I regret it. I don’t. I can’t.”

Another silence. The high-pitched cartoon voices continued to blare from the TV. Patton found, with some small relief, that his stomach no longer hurt.

Everyone was looking at Virgil, whose fists were digging into his thighs. The hood from his onesie had fallen slightly over his face; Patton could no longer see his expression.

After what felt like an eternity, Virgil’s fists unclenched.

“...Thank you for your honesty, Patton.”

Patton looked at Virgil with wide eyes. The latter straightened up slightly, pushing his hood back to look at Patton directly. Deceit quirked a brow, but Virgil continued before he could speak.

“Of course I’m glad that you stood up for what you believe in. You are Thomas’ heart, and it wouldn’t be fair to you if you couldn’t stand up for yourself.” As Virgil spoke, he ran his hands across his thighs, letting the texture of his skeleton onesie calm him.

“Your reaction may not have been the best, but you did the right thing. And I’m not mad at you. But if I can also be  _ honest _ ,” he added, cutting a glare to Deceit before returning his gaze to Patton, “you did put Thomas- me, specifically- in a difficult situation. And I know that wasn’t your intent, but I’m not gonna lie. It kinda sucks right now.”

Patton twisted his mouth into a grimace before looking down at his mug. “I get that, Virge,” he said softly.

Virgil softened in return. “I don’t blame you, Patton... at least, not just you,” he added, eyes flicking away from Patton’s for a moment. “I just need some time to work through this whole thing.”

The two sides looked at each other. Logan and Roman leaned forward slightly, ready to intervene if this olive branch was not accepted.

Finally, Virgil offered Patton a sad smile. Patton hesitated, then returned it. The two broke their gaze, looking down at their respective laps.

Another silence. Logan and Roman side-eyed each other, similar expressions of surprise on their faces.

“Wow, Virgil,” Deceit suddenly drawled. “What impressive conflict resolution. Truly, you’ve made us all so proud.”

“Okay, Two-Face, you know what?” Roman interjected in annoyance, leaning forward to meet Deceit’s eyes. “It’s one thing to instigate conflict between two of my best friends for no good reason-”

“Thanks, Princey,” Patton said, giving him an appreciative smile.

“-But what’s more, you’ve been talking  _ forever _ and I’ve missed far too much dialogue already!”

“Thanks, Princey,” Virgil muttered, giving him a thumbs up.

“Do you want to be excused? Is that it? You want to be released from the terrible punishment that is movie night?” Roman flopped back on his throne of pillows, waving his arm exasperatedly. “I just thought it’d be nice to spend some time together when you’re not being a jerk, but if you want to leave-”

Deceit gasped, one hand coming to rest on his cheek. “No, Roman, why would I want to leave? I  _ love _ the thought of being stuck out here with you nerds watching ‘Frozen’ for the dozenth time.” As he spoke, Deceit rose from his spot against the wall, making sure to block everyone’s view of the screen as he crossed the room to the staircase. “It’s not like I voted to watch ‘Coco’ or anything.”

Logan sipped his iced coffee. “Remus is back there.”

“Hey.” The intrusive side appeared just as Deceit made it to the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh my God-” Deceit reeled backwards before catching himself on the railing. “Oh, fuck. You gotta- you gotta stop doing that, man.”

“But you’re a liar!” Remus replied gleefully. “So you’re telling me to keep doing it! Right?”

“Oh, for fuck’s- I can’t. I just can’t deal with you tonight.” With that, Deceit turned and went up the stairs, giving an exasperated sigh as he exited.

The sides were quiet once again.

“You know, I’m not surprised he’s a fan of ‘Coco’,” Roman remarked idly. “That- that seems right.”

_ ~Later~ _

“Olaf fully melts by the fire while accompanying a dying Anna,” Roman started, with a rapidly building enthusiasm. Although Logan would not have necessarily elected for Thomas to spend the next few hours rewriting a children’s film to be more narratively satisfying, he did have to admit that he was pleased that the creative side seemed to be taking his suggestion to heart.

Speaking of heart, Logan peered at Patton on the floor. He was fully engaged in Roman’s brainstorming, making all of the appropriate response faces for the situation. He was so engaged, in fact, that he did not seem to notice Virgil tapping his back with a socked foot.

Logan noticed. Tuning Roman out, he attempted to subtly observe as Virgil managed to get Patton’s attention.

The moral side looked over his shoulder; although his face was partly obscured by the angle, Logan could still make out his worried expression. Virgil’s spiral earlier had been troubling for several reasons, not least of which was the fact that he directly referenced how Patton was a factor in his anxiety. Logan wondered, not for the first time, if the two sides’ friendship was genuinely mutually beneficial. They had found themselves at odds before, of course- all of them had, at one point or another. Despite their strengths, Patton and Virgil were both highly emotionally charged, which could serve as either a benefit or a hindrance when the two worked together.

Logan watched as Patton mouthed something unidentifiable to Virgil. Virgil nodded, inhaling slowly and releasing the breath. Another pause, then Virgil gave Patton a small thumbs up.

Patton’s lips quirked up in a relieved smile. He returned the gesture.

Logan saw as both of the sides relaxed, the tension leaving their bodies almost visible, before the two turned back to debate the merits of Roman’s ‘Frozen’ fanfic.

The logical side grinned to himself, fixing his tie. Maybe his fellow sides could help each other, after all.


End file.
